She was just a Child...no more than five years old. Her greatest hero was Peter from C.S. Lewis' Narnia series.....hours upon hours were spent daydreaming about finding another world, and having a dashing big brother with a sword who could conquer all wrong. Men and boys were idealized in the Child's mind as brave and daring creatures who rode horses and saved damsels in distress.
The Child grew, and became a Young Girl, and as she neared her tenth birthday, she began to realize that things may not be quite how they seemed. The boys she knew were...different....than how she'd imagined.
The Young Girl grew still more and became a full fledged girl....a Teenager. She had changed drastically from the Child she was originally. Experiences had taught her that most boys weren't heroes....in fact, most boys didn't give a rip about the fact that she was a girl. It shocked her at first. She expected to be recognized as a woman and to be treated as such. But none of the boys she knew even bothered to open the door for her.
Hurt and confused, the Teenager lashed back in the only way she knew.....pride. Her naturally competitive spirit egged her on to be better than all the boys she knew. Whatever they did, she would do....plus some. To be considered "one of the guys" became her goal. If it was a water fight, she had one of the biggest guns there, and would be sure to emerge one of the dirtiest. She rode horses, slung hay bales, wore boots, and laughed at any boy who didn't drive a truck. She gloried in her strength, her knowledge, her fearlessness, and her ability to get banged up and bloodied without a tear.
Slowly but surely, He started the process of transforming her from the Teenager she was into the Young Woman who He had in mind. One by one, He sent some very special boys into her life.
But no, to be honest, I can't call them boys. They were men....in the truest and best sense of the word.
Men who knew to treat a girl differently than their guy friends.
Men who refused to be intimated when their offer of help was met with her brusque "I can get it."
Men who knew to say, "Oh, I know very well you can get it. But you're a girl, and I'm a boy, and as such, I'm not going to stand here and watch you carry the heavier load. Now hand it over."
Men who opened the door for her...not just once, but again and again and again until she stopped fighting and just let them do it....and then, finally, came to appreciate it.
One morning, the Teenager woke up, and suddenly realized that she was now a Young Woman. No longer did strength or knowledge hold the highest place in her esteem.
She had been humbled.
She was no longer ashamed to like pretty clothes and wear earrings. Dressing up didn't horrify her like it had at one time. Things like emotions and tears and weaknesses weren't brushed off as "girly". Oh, she could and did still wear boots and throw hay, but there was a difference in the attitude with which she did it all. And oddly enough, her idea of men and boys and heroes and chivalry....well, it was pretty close to what the Child had believed about it all. But it was different, too.
The Child thought of heroes as men with flashing swords and big horses.
The Young Woman saw them as normal people doing unusually wonderful things.
The Child dreamed of experiences that only happened in fantasy books.
The Young Woman gloried in real life experiences...and found them so much more fulfilling.
And so, she came to realize that chivalry was not dead. It was nearly forgotten, but it still lived in the hearts of a few special men. And with God's help, those men, though maybe unaware of it, slowly shaped her into a more gracious, humble, and accepting person.
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In case you hadn't guessed, the Child, Young Girl, Teenager, and Young Woman.....those are me. This post http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/01/13/chivalry-is-out-of-style/ got my wheels turning and made me take a closer look at the long journey I've taken to get to where I am. Looking back, I shudder to think of how I viewed chivalry when I was 15 years old. While I hated it, at the same time, I longed for it. God slowly and graciously peeled my hands off my eyes....forcing me to see that no man is perfect, but many are trying very hard, and the least I could do was accept their efforts.
Girls, never turn down the offer of a helping hand. It makes the guy feel like a million bucks, and it certainly doesn't hurt you!
My conclusion?
I've heard so many times about the tremendous influential power girls have on the men in their lives. And while I believe that is true, I think it's often underestimated as to how much a man can influence the girls in his life.
Men, please, please don't ever stop being chivalrous. As stubborn as us girls can be, we truly love it and are blessed by it. So please don't be discouraged...
Long live chivalry!!
This was a very encouraging post, Lisa! Thank you for sharing! I'm afraid I can raise my hand with you when you talk about how you were as a young girl (I'm better than boys and made of tough stuff). Unfortunately, although I grew up (am still growing up!) in a very Christian, ladies and gentlemen minded home, there were still lots of opportunities for me to brush off my feminine side. With two younger brothers, my sister and I did most of the barn chores-especially the heavy lifting of hay bales, feeding cows, checking fences, etc. As my brothers grew up into strapping young men, it was very difficult for me to step down and give them room to step up. I still wanted to be the macho woman, but I also hated it when other young men treated me as a guy. Hah, confusing, yeah? In any case, praise the Lord for wonderful parents and other "Titus 2 women" who helped open my eyes to how I was hurting myself, and, more importantly, how I was crippling my brothers. If I didn't let them step up to the challenge, they would never learn the necessary skills to lead their own home one day. Now, as the oldest of the two is actually nearing that point in his life, I'm so very glad that the Lord taught me that lesson! Hard as it was to learn... So, you're not alone in that area. :-) Your post was extremely encouraging to me because, much as I hate to admit it, I still have to fight that pride when it rears it's ugly head every so often.
ReplyDeleteSo, all that to say, thank you for this blog post. I enjoyed reading the Matt Walsh blog earlier this week, so it was cool to see a post sort of 'based off' of it. :-)
God bless!
You're so welcome!! Thanks for commenting and sharing some of your story!! Sounds like you are a super blessed girl :) :) :)
Deletehey nice post Lisa. I like your style of writing. The way you writes reminds me of an equally interesting post that I read some time ago on Daniel Uyi's blog titled A Simple Idea That Will Help You Succeed Faster In Life .
Deletekeep up the good work.
Regards
@ Lisa, indeed! I'm extremely blessed!!!!! =) Sounds like you are too. :-) (from reading the comments below.. lol!)
DeleteI definitely am. More than I realize. :)
DeleteI'm always amazed at the wonders God does.
ReplyDeleteJob 42:1
"Then Job answered the LORD and said: "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted."
Long live Chivalry?
ReplyDeleteWhy do the guys get honored for honoring? The girls (You) are the ones worth getting honored in the first place - hence the door and the tip of the hat.
Long live Women. The real ones that is.
David, David, David. That was a "Boy-Girl Communication ERROR" on your part. Never, ever, return a compliment with an "Addressee Not Found" statement. She is giving credit where credit is due. In our culture it is extremely rare to find any chivalrous boys, let alone any "real" men. If you want to return credit than point it to God.
DeleteRomans 7:18 "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh."
! John 4:7-11 " Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God, and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
It's not us boys being chivalrous, because it's chivalrous. Nor is it because we've always been taught. The only reason I am chivalrous at any time of the day at all, is thanks to God. God is the only good thing in me.
I was giving credit to where it was due - goofball. :) The ladies. Although, my response *was* a bit hasty and I didn't tag all the appropriate parties - I'll admit it. :)
DeleteI was merely trying to make the point that the ladies are the ones getting jipped the worst in today's society - since they are due honor for merely existing. Guys are supposed to honor them. If they get a thank you, nod, point up, then point back to where most of the honor getting handed out by society is supposed to be going - to the ladies.
But you know all of that and are razzing me anyway. :D
Besides, who says she was talking to me?
I'll stick to that last statement though - all my previous mistakes aside. The girls of today need more honor shown to them.
Long Live Women.
And ladies are supposed to show appreciation, aren't they? So, accept the appreciation and point to where the virtue comes from. To deny it is to disrespect the compliment in all forms of traditional English language (Lisa agree, please), then to accept it yourself and not give credit to where the character came from is to be proud. One must do both, accept the appriciation, and point the complimenter to God.
DeleteYou two!!
DeleteJosie - I think you're going to have to leave it at a mutual appreciation :) I totally understand what you're saying, but of course I get David's point, too....
David - you're the goofball! Of course I was talking to you! And to Jos....you guys have had such an incredibly huge and wonderful impact on my life. So grateful for both of you :) And, honestly, many ladies are getting "gypped" due to their own fault.
It's a mutual problem...ladies don't act ladylike, and men don't act chivalrous.
Well I just can't go assume that because you do a post about guys who are manly that you are talking about me - that is why I didn't really want to say 'thanks' (assumes you were referring to me) - it seemed to me the paramount of my pride.
DeleteI don't think the tack I took on it was that great - sorry about that *both* of you - but that was what was going on on this end of the line.
I hope that was helpful - sorry for the banter on your blog..... :(
So, after all the clarification, apologies on my end and such, I guess a humble thank you is due. :) Thank God. Thank you.
DeleteJust got around to reading these last comments, David :) You were in a hard spot, weren't you?
DeleteEither acknowledge that I was talking about you and look prideful,
orrrrr......
act like you didn't realize I was talking about you, and look rather, um, oblivious.
Sorry to kind of leave you there between a rock and a hard place! I should have just put a little "thank you David and Josie" at the end and dispelled all doubts ;)
And, you are so welcome. Thank YOU!!!! :) :) :)
That was just beautiful, Lisa.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Mrs. G. Love ya :) :) ::)
DeleteGreat post, Lisa! I really enjoyed this. It reminds me of a conversation Kate and I were just having about how to write the best kind of heroine for a story. Sweet, feminine, strong and capable, yet both supporting and leaning on the guys. :)
ReplyDeletePerry
Thanks, Perry!! And thanks for the FB share :) :)
DeleteExcellent post!
ReplyDeleteI had not gotten to read this. Great post Lis. I love how you write and wish I liked writing too :) and we all love the men God has placed in our lives.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, Lisa! Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDelete