Last night, Mom asked me to read an article she had seen going around on Facebook and give her my thoughts on it.....an article titled something along the lines of "Why Courtship Is Fundamentally Flawed." Without diving too deeply into the overall ludicrousness of the arguments he laid out and the solutions he proposed, there was one thing that caught my attention.
According to this man, he has "recently seen a spike in divorce rates among 'courtship couples'". (Interesting - I've noticed a spike in divorce rates amongst 'dating couples' as well.....)
Then came the punch line:
"The whole point of courtship was to have a happy marriage, not a high divorce rate."
WRONG! Happy marriages can come out of courtships or dating scenarios....as can a divorce; that's not the point.
But I digress.
I read that sentence to Mom, and her comment hit me.
She said, "You know - a happy marriage isn't based so much on what process you went through before the wedding day. It's based on two people who are completely and entirely committed......not just to staying married; there's lots of people who are just committed to stay married no matter what, and that causes nothing but two miserable people. It takes two people who are committed to working through things and having a *good* marriage, no matter what."
That's a huge distinction. One I'd never really thoroughly processed before.
Of course you don't get divorced - that was just a given for me. But a good marriage is so, so much more than that. It's two people completely given over to God and each other, purposing to work through problems, grow, and love.
No matter what.