Just Love

There once lived a man who influenced lives. Profoundly. More than he ever knew or imagined. He influenced them for good.........for God.........he saved lives, was used to save souls, brought hope, and gave others a glimpse at what a real, living, loving relationship with Christ is really like. Against his desire, he became a sort of superstar, and yet he was never fully understood.

He attracted crowds not because of some watered down Gospel message put to trashy music, but because he unashamedly proclaimed the hard truths of the Bible...the truths people need to hear.

He was loved by children because he never expected them to be adults - he took them at face value.

He was accepted by the broken and hurting, not because he was perfect, but because he was willing to show his imperfections and point them to a perfect Savior.

He was truly a living sacrifice.

He was loved...........because he loved.

I was first introduced to Rich's music probably almost 10 years ago, and was instantly captivated by it. For a long time, though, I played it, listened to it, learned about him because that's what my friends did.......and it wasn't until recently that I came to love Rich for him. For his heart, his music, his realness. He had a closeness with God that I envy.......a childlike faith and trust in His promises. 

He loved others. Deeply. He cared about the outcasts. Went to the needy. Loved like Jesus. 

17 years ago today, he died.........and I. Can't. Wait. to meet him someday. To tell him how much he influenced my life....how much his openness about his struggles encouraged me, and how much his love for God spurred mine on. 

But for now, today gives me an excuse to share some of my favorites of his songs, quotes, stories, and concerts. 

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You keep your television on, you surround yourself with friends, but you're scared of God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. Never lose your reverence for Him. God is nothing to be joking about, but perfect love casts out fear.
What I want you to know about God is, He ain't waiting to whip you. All God's wanting to do, right now He's ready, you don't have to wait, because what He wants to do, before you can even get to His house, He wants to run out and wrap His arms around you, take you up and swing you around in the air. He wants to take the ring off His finger and put it on yours. And then He will call to have the fatted calf killed. 
I don't know what He'll do with those ridiculous vegetarians. But He is not nearly as hung up about cholesterol as we are. He knows something is going to kill you, He figures it may as well be something tasty. 
Friends, don't be afraid to go home. The Heavenly Father is waiting. Not because He wants to give you a whipping. Not because He wants to rub your nose in your failures, but because He had a Son who was a composite failure. He had a Son who tried to have this great ministry, had thousands of followers. His Son chose for Himself, He had twelve people on His staff. In three years' time He had managed to alienate every person in one way or another. He died His Father's Son, stricken with grief, so overloaded with guilt that He had to look away, His Father could not look at Him.
He knows what it's like. He wants you to come to Him.

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Psalm 137 starts out: 
"By the waters of Babylon we lay down and wept and we remembered thee Zion for our captors required of us songs, saying, 
'Sing us one of the songs of Zion.' But how can we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land?"
Which is a good question because what land have we ever been in that wasn't foreign?
It starts out so beautifully and then at the end of that psalm, the last verse of that psalm is, "How very blessed is the man who dashes their little ones' heads against the rocks." This is not the sort of scripture you read at a pro-life meeting. But it's in there nonetheless.
Which is the thing about the Bible... that's why it always cracks me up when people say, "Well, in 'du du du du du du du duh, it says..." You kinda go, "Wow! It says a lot of things in there!" Proof-texting is a very, very dangerous thing. I think if we were given the Scriptures, it was not so that we could prove that we were right about everything. If we were given the Scriptures, it was to humble us into realizing that God is right, and the rest of us are just guessing.

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And the rest of it, it's so funny being a Christian musician. It always scares me when I talk to you guys and you guys think so highly of Christian music, contemporary Christian music especially. Because I kinda go, I know a lot of us, and we don't know jack about anything. Not that I don't want you to buy our records and come to our concerts. I sure do. But you should come for entertainment. If you really want spiritual nourishment, you should go to church.
Those people care about you, and you don't have to buy a ticket. If you really want spiritual nourishment, you should read the Scriptures. It'll confuse you to death practically, but you're gonna die anyway, so why not go out doing something good?

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And I'm all the time being asked by people, "How do you feel closer to God?" And I kinda always want to say, "I don't know." When I read the lives of most of the great saints, they didn't necessarily feel very close to God. When I read the Psalms, I get the feeling like David and the other psalmists felt very far from God for most of the time. Closeness to God is not about feelings. Closeness to God is about obedience. It's just as simple as that.

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Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in your beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved and Jesus loved the poor and Jesus loved the broken.

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I asked my dad one time, "How did you know you were ready to get married?" 

And he said, "Oh, I didn't." He said, "In fact, the only reason I got married was because I wasn't ready. If I had known what I was in for I would have run screaming from the room."

And I said, "So, are you sorry?" And he said, "No, I'm not sorry at all." He said, "I did not understand what I meant when I said 'I do', but I'm so glad I said it. I had no idea that my wife was going to live this long - or what a glorious life she would give me."

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We are not saved because we're good. We're good because we're saved. Never forget what Jesus did for you. Never take lightly what it cost Him. And never assume that if it cost Him His very life, that it won't cost you yours.

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Don't resist the work of God in your life by asking for an easy life. If you live really good, folks, you'll get older.  I guarantee you that, you will get older.  

It's amazing to me to see pictures of my grandparents, when they were kids, and how handsome, and pretty and everything they were, and bright looking.  And then seeing them when they were very, very old, I never would have connected the two.  Life had beat them beyond recognition, in many ways. They had arthritis, they had cornea dystrophy.  Eventually they died, and we all are gonna do that sooner or later.   

And if you live really good, you will be beaten.  If you really try to walk in faith, you will fall.  You will stumble.  If you believe that your life in Christ is one constant spiral upward, then you are badly
mistaken.  And if you think it's heretical to say, then read the lives of the apostles.  Their lives were blemished, their track records were not particularly good.  

If you try to have faith, you will be attacked by doubts you never knew you were capable of.  But you keep on believing, even if you fall, even if you struggle with doubts, you keep on believing.  And if you live a life that is marked by hope, by the belief that God is good, and there is goodness in the world that awaits us, you'll be disappointed.  You'll be crushed, even, sometimes.  The Scriptures say hope deferred makes the heart grow sick. You're gonna have a sick heart.  But you keep on hoping.  And if you choose to love, you will be misunderstood, you will be betrayed, you will be rejected by the people who most desperately need the love you have to offer.  And remember that when you try to
love, it's not like love in the movies.  In the movies, when people are loving each other physically, they always are perfectly fit and tan, and beautiful.  Most of y'all, I've seen you, you don't look like that. 

We are blemished people, and in order to love anybody, in any way, we have to expose that part of us that we'd rather keep hidden.  Our own selfishness, our own fears, our own hangups, and it's embarrassing.  So humiliating.  But you keep on loving.

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That's one of the things I love about life, is how it almost makes sense, and then it just stops, just so, so short of making sense. 

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I think so many of us are looking for that place where we really fit. Where we really belong. And the bad news is that I don't think that there is such a place. I think that part of being human is being alone. And being lonely. I think one of the stresses on a lot of our friendships is that we require that the people we love take away that loneliness. And they really can't. And so, when we still feel lonely, even in the company of people we love, we become angry with them because they don't do what we think they're supposed to. Which is really something that they can't do for ya. So don't be mad at each other over this. Don't be disillusioned with each other just because you feel lonely around each other.

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And never forget that someday you will be dead. Because that's, that's just as sure as anything I can think of. So love each other as much as you can right now. Because this may be the last day you've got to love each other. Don't love each other because you think you'll be less lonely if you do. There's no point in that.

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And when Christ has stripped away all of your 'phony-baloney' kind of systematic theology, all of your lame, Protestant kind of stupidity, all of your Catholic hang-ups, when Christ has stripped away everything that we have invented about Him, then maybe we will encounter Him as He really is. And we will know ourselves as we really are. So don't be afraid that your faith gets shaken. Could be that God is shaking you forward, and shaking you free.

And the issue is not which side of which fence you end up on. The issue is really, has to do with, what does it mean to love Christ? What does it mean to obey Him? And I'm not really even sure what that is. But if there is any meaning in the life of Jesus of Nazareth, it is this: that there is a God who created us, and who loves us so much that He would stop at nothing to bring us to Him.

And I really suspect that of all the things we think we want to know, the only thing we really want to know, is that we are loved. And if Jesus means anything, He means that you are loved. I hope you know that.

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But my theory is that for those of us who are too weak to remain single, God gives us a spouse. For those of us who are too hung up to handle marriage, God gives us celibacy. So, pick your weakness. Pick your poison, I guess. But anyway, for those of you who do choose to be in love and stuff, go for it. And I think it's a good thing - I've heard a lot about it.




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The most reiterated command in the whole Bible- you might not know this, but the most reiterated command in the whole Bible is the command to sing. So, I figure when you find a command that is easy to follow and fun to follow you should follow it a lot, because not all of them are that easy. And certainly some of them are less fun than that. 




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I never understood why going to church made you a hypocrite either, because nobody goes to church because they're perfect. If you've got it all together, you don't need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church, you're confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who will greet you there, that you don't have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability, you need some help.





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Some of us are so afraid that God's not going to look at us. So we're out there doing all sorts of things to get God to take notice, but folks, God notices you. The fact is, He can't take His eyes off of you. However badly you think of yourself, God is crazy about you. God is in love with you. Some of us even fear that someday we'll do something so bad that He won't notice you anymore. Well let me tell you, God loves us completely. And He knew us at our worst before He ever began to love us at all. And in the love of God, there are no degrees, there is only love.

So tonight I'm going to say to you what the angels said to every character in the Bible that they encountered, except for Mary, the mother of Jesus. They said "Don't be afraid." We've got a little while to go yet in this life, and it's a scary thing, but don't be afraid. Be of good cheer. He has overcome the world. And He has chosen to dwell within us. And we ain't all that big a deal, but our Savior is. He will walk with us through this life, and when it's over, He will raise us up again, and take us to be where He is. Not because of what we've done, but because of who He is. Because of the love He has for us.

So go, and live in that awareness... love one another... read your Bible... wash your dishes... make your bed... and don't be afraid.

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Sometimes I am tempted to believe that I am better than anybody because I know Him. And then I remember that uh, I don't know him because I was smart enough to figure out some riddle. And I don't know him because I was good enough to ascend into heaven on my own and shake hands with him and meet him. Of all the things that make God awesome, the most awesome thing in the world that I can imagine from a god is that one who would be holy, and one that would be just, ...and one that would be innocent and beautiful, and would have no need of me...that someone like that could love me is amazing. And that does not make me a good person; but it makes Him a great God!

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I remember one time, Beaker and I were hiking in the Appalachian trail and he met some friends of his and they were all talking about school which I didn't want to talk about because I've been in school for so many years it's not interesting any more....so I walked into town. It was about a five mile walk from the campsite down in...down the trail...down into town...and when I got there, I went in and was having a steak, and this guy started talking to me and we had this great conversation; we were having a good time and he said, "Hey look, it's dark and it's five miles up the road to your campground. Why don't I drive you up there?"




And I said, "Hey, great!"

And uh, so we got in his car and just as we pulled out from under the uh, last light in that town the guy said, "You know what, I should probably tell you that I'm gay."




And I said, "Oh!...I should probably tell you that I am a Christian....and Christians and gays are really a lot more alike than most people think."




And he said, "Well, what do you mean?"




And I said, "Well, I think that gay people are people who desperately need to be loved. And I think Christian people are pretty much the same."




And he said, "Well if you want out of the car..."




I said, "Why?"




And he said, "Well, I'm gay and your Christian."




I said, "It's still five miles and it's still dark....I'm not crazy."




And he said, "I thought Christians hated gays."




I said, "That's funny, I thought Christians were supposed to love. I thought that was our first command." 




He said, "Well, I thought God hated gays."




I said, "That's really funny, because I thought God was love."




And He said, "Well uh, do think uh, God sent AIDS down to punish gay people?"




And I said, "Well, in the same sense that he sends bankruptcy on farmers and presidents on voters......there are consequences for our choices and sometimes we have to bear the consequence of other people's choices."




And then he asked me the big one. He said, "Do you think I will go to hell for being a gay?"




Well, I'm a good Hoosier......and I puckered up to say, "Yes, of course you'll go to hell for being gay." Now folks, I will tell you the truth. I got ready to say, "Yes, of course you'll go to hell for being gay," and when I opened up my mouth it came out, "No,...of course you won't go to hell for being gay." 




And I thought, "Oh my god, I've only been in New Hampshire for one week and I've already turned into a liberal............What am I going to tell this guy now?"




You know there are times when we think we are God's messengers, when we think we are the mouthpiece of God. And God really needs fewer mouths than he needs ears...and there are times when we think we've got it all together. And we meet somebody. And they ask us the right questions. And we get to find out something about God that we learned when we were little because our moms and dads read it to us, and because they took us to Sunday school and we were told over and over the great truths of the scriptures. But we forget them because we get all caught up in how cool we are.




I said, "No, you won't go to hell for being gay any more than I would go to hell for being a liar. That nobody goes to hell because of what they do. We go to hell because we reject the grace that God so longs to give to us......regardless of what we do."




So many of you people try so hard to be good. And you think someday you're going to be so good that God is going to look down on you favorably. Well, let me tell you something. God already looks down on you favorably. 

That's what grace is...not because you have earned it but, because he is a favorable looking God. Some of you people are so afraid that someday you're going to cross that line, that you're going to do that one sin that God will never forgive you of...or, you're going to do that one sin that you've been doing so long...but, you have this feeling that there is a certain number of times you can get away with it and God can look away...but, one time too many and your life is over. 

Folks, God knew you at your worst before he ever sent Christ to die for you. And the good news of Christianity is not that...Christ came into the world to make good little boys and girls. Christ came into the world to take away those sins that you've allowed to come between you and God. It's sad to me to believe...to look out there and see...when you're driving down the road and you see people who are afraid, you see people who are angry, and you go, "If only you knew how crazy about you God was...God has already loved you...if only you knew!"

And so, so many more................... but I'll end there.

Blush

So, it's a known fact that I'm a bit of a good old-fashioned sap. I love knights in shining armor, damsels in distress, curls and red lips and dashing heroes.

But more than that, I love the message behind this song.

I had it sent to me by a dear friend quite some time ago, but never sat down and listened to it till last night. To say I was blown away would be an understatement. I was enthralled. For every reason I can think of, this song became my favorite. For the timeless (yet oft forgotten) message of chivalry, of innocent maidens, of love that could wait a long, long time, of true romance and Victorian style courtesy......all put to one of the most moving and beautiful melodies I've heard in a long time. They do an amazing job of portraying romance in an extremely beautiful and healthy way, and yet not taking away from the mystery and wonder and rapture of true love.

But I'll stop talking and let you hear for yourself.................I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Back to normal life..........

I survived! What do you know? Last weekend was absolute chaos...complete with standing on my feet for an average of 12 hours a day holding a very heavy camera/lens, interacting with people on a constant basis, about 4 hours of sleep each night, living in continual fear that the pregnant mares we brought along were going to have their babies at the show, having a great time, being blessed by so many people, and coming home with over 4,000 images.

I LOVE my camera and lens even more now...they handled the wacky indoor lighting like the champs they are!

Mom and Beamer were seriously impressive....brought home the blues!

Jessie enjoyed the show....despite her crutches! (BTW, we heard this past week that the Dr thinks she doesn't need surgery!! Praise GOD!)

And a good time was had by all!!

At this point, life is settling back down again, and the next big thing on our platter is the arrival of some new baby horses! Can't WAIT!! The first mare due is the mare I showed last year, so I'm especially excited ;) 

Now that I've gone through all my pictures and organized everything, I'm slowly pulling my head back above water, and really want to keep sharing quotes. So in honor of my return to blogland, here's a deluge! :) :) :)

....especially Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata.

...I have to remind myself of this from time to time.

...actually, PETA might be right ;) 

.....I had a shirt that said this on the back for the longest time. Then it disappeared. I have a strange feeling Mom threw it away :'(

.....yep! I've got friends like this.

.....okay, okay. The dog is cute, you have to admit!

.....guys, you know this one's your fav :)

.....which is why I want to MOVE! Summer is coming!! Aaaahhhhhhhh.....

......and horses.

......and in Him, we find the greatest satisfaction, the deepest fulfillment, and the truest joy.

God bless you all!! ♥ ♥

First Dance Song

I'm home by myself....sipping hot tea, listening to the rain outside, editing pictures....chores are done, and I am so incredibly perfectly happy.

And I decided that this is the perfect, PERFECT first dance song for a wedding. Maybe I'll get to use it for my own one day.....if my husband turns out to be a Clint Black fan :)

Awesome editing song :) :)

Editing pictures and listening to Waylon Jennings' "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys". ♥ ♥

An Odd Twist....

....on a popular Christmas carol..........

:D :D :D

Fly Away Home

Maybe I'm silly....or sappy....but this movie makes me cry every time....and this song never fails to give me chills. 

Feeling nostalgic tonight....

"Rest Easy"

Right now, this is my newest favorite song. Now, that tends to change fairly often, but for the past week or so, I've been rather stuck on this one.

It is such a beautiful reminder that nothing we do can ever make us more or less acceptable to God. He's taken us just as we are...awful, broken, and ugly - but worth so much to Him. 

Romantic Music

For those of you who, like myself, are huge fans of the Romantic era of music, you will love these two pieces! They are from our recital weekend before last. Anna doesn't make an appearance because she was bit by a scorpion the night before and thus was incapacitated :)

This first one is Jessie playing Chopin's Nocturne in Eb Major, Op 9 No 2




And this is yours truly....Brahms Rhapsody in bm Op 79 No 1

Pathetique

I fell in love today.....with the second movement of Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata. Incredibly emotional and moving to listen to, and even more so to play.

Listening to it and playing it, I am reminded again of the incredible emotional impact music has on us. How beautiful God made it, and how terribly man has twisted it.

If you've never heard this piece before, treat yourself.

If you're feeling rather melancholy, like I was today...every note of this piece is perfect and pure. Every chord magical. Every harmony and dynamic expressive and unique.


 

2012 In Review!!! (a la photographs)

I have never done a post like this before, but I am determined to sit down and actually do it this year.

Why?

Cause this year was awesome!!! Super fun times with family and friends, couple big milestones, lessons learned, and mistakes made.

And, you guessed it, the story will be told in pictures!

January 2012

1. Very fun hike in the Whitetanks with family and bestest friends...

We may look nice and sane and normal.....

....but don't let us fool you!!

2. Awesome shooting day with church family!

February 2012

1. Gold Rush Days Rodeo (LOVE rodeos!!!)

March 2012

1. Final high school piano competition!!! And the one I ever did the best at!! That is one of the only reasons graduating made me sad...no more piano competitions.

2. Touch of Class Miniature Horse Show

Yeah, Jess and I tend to get some funny stares...two girls both over 6' tall with sweats and  Ariats. Makes for quite the combination.

This was the first show when we started thinking, "Hmmm.....maybe we should go to Worlds...." We had no idea what lay ahead!

3. Jack, our first 2012 baby, was  born!

April 2012

1. Our next 2012 baby, Thunder, was born!!

Accompanied by the usual celebratory Breakfast-in-Barn and goofiness!

Don't I do a wonderful job of looking innocent? :)

May 2012

1. Got my first photo job ever!!! I photographed a horse show and sold prints afterwards...very professional feeling!

June 2012

This was an eventful month, let me tell you!

1. Third colt of 2012, Ruger, was born! And immediately showed signs of a ruptured bladder and had to be rushed to the vet hospital!

2. On the way home from said hospital, deafening explosion shocks Mom, Jess, and I. And we quickly enter the temporary School of Hard Knocks while learning how to change a trailer tire on our own!

3. Went to Shooter's World for Father's Day! This was the first time my sister's and I had been there...it was loud. :)

4. I found out that I was "bicycle-y challenged" http://musicalcowgirl4christ.blogspot.com/2012/06/bike-riding-mishap.html and walked like a 90 year old for a while as a result.

5. I graduated!!! Nuff said :)

5. Went camping with our church, and had an epic time!!!

Me with my brother and sister feeling very proud of ourselves...we had swum out to a big rock, climbed up it, and jumped off 25-30 feet into the water. Crazy fun!!

Did some super fun and silly photo shoots :)

Caught crawdads!

Commemorated our time at the lake

And slept with handguns behind our heads due to fear of bears!

 6. We came up with a first rate mathematical equation....
Miniature horses + surfboards + flood irrigation + people willing to fall = EPIC summer fun!!

Nothin' much happened in July except for hot temperatures and beautiful skies!

August 2012

1. I gave my long awaited, dreaded, and dreamed about senior piano recital! An incredible experience that pushed me out of my comfort zone, grew my faith, made me feel so loved, and brought much joy to all involved!

2. More boogie-boarding...with horses or without...who cares?

3. Supported our local Chick-fil-A wholeheartedly!!

4. Had a splashingly great time at our church's water day!!! Everyone got together and got as wet as possible!!! It was sooo fun.

Yes, this is my mom :)

I also took one of my favorite pictures ever at the Water Day!

September 2012

1. I turned.....

And we headed up north with some super awesome friends to play get a break from the heat and play in the water! Only to go on a day when it was POURING rain and FREEZING cold. The water was icy...but we had a blast nonetheless. Yes, I am shivering and my teeth are chattering in the above picture :)

After a while, we built a fire to warm up...and read the Word and sang some songs.

Then, the sun came out, and we caught crawdads....until everyone got tired.....

2. Towards the end of the month, we packed up and headed for the World miniature horse show in Ft Worth, Texas. And what a time it was! You can read more about it here... http://musicalcowgirl4christ.blogspot.com/2012/12/worlds.html

October 2012 

1. While we were at Worlds, our last 2012 baby was born...without us here!! My brother foaled Mickey out all by himself! So proud of him...

2. I did something I've never, ever come close to doing before.....

Got on a plane by myself and left my family and flew to the cold and stormy land of Oregon for six weeks!! What an amazing experience! My mom's best friend was diagnosed with cancer, and she is doing alternative treatment. Having 5 adorable amazing kiddos that needed help warranted my coming. 

The time I spent up there was unreal. I learned SO MUCH about everything....the kitchen and cooking, teaching kids to read, going deer hunting, helping butcher chickens, having wonderful talks with Ms Julie. I was so blessed to do this. 

But coming home was so wonderful. I felt so loved by my family - I never guessed they'd miss me so much! And I missed them terribly. When I met them at the Phoenix airport, we all started crying...I was overwhelmed! 

Please keep Ms Julie in your prayers....she's not out of the woods by any means yet.

Helping out with juices and meds :)

I got to see the ocean for the first time in my 19 years of life!!

Helping butcher chickens :)

Beautiful Oregon sunrise!!

Lunch at Camp 18 - a super cool logging camp/restaurant!

November 2012

1. Came home from Oregon!

2. Had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my Grandparent's in Tucson!

December 2012

1. Did tons of super fun family Christmas pictures!!

2. My sisters and I had our Christmas piano recital...

3. Decorated for and celebrated Christmas!!!

4. Went and saw the Hobbit in Imax 3D. It was stunning!

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That's all, folks!

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All in all, 2012 was an awesome year.....

God taught me so much...in the summer, I started the study Quieting A Noisy Soul, and that was revolutionary for me. I started learning more and more about God's character, and the more I learned, the more I realized how little I actually know. He is SO far beyond our comprehension....in His power, love, faithfulness, mercy....

There was one time in Oregon, I went for a walk by myself, and I was just walking in the beautiful country, thinking and praying, and I was so overwhelmed by God's love that I literally stopped in the middle of the road and started crying. So much of Scripture has become so precious to me. The more I realize how bad and awful I am, and the more the Lord reveals how perfect and holy He is, I am humbled, terrified, and just grateful beyond belief.

Some goals for 2013:

1. To read my Bible through again!

2. To test every thought, MOTIVE, word, and deed and see if it is "in the name of the Lord Jesus." (Colossians 3:17) 

3. To learn a Brahms Hungarian Rhapsody duet with my teacher!

4. To buy a new camera

5. To (hopefully, hopefully) finish up our worldview course

6. To become better at accepting correction - as in, more grateful and cheerful about it.

7. To take my little mare, Treasure, to Nationals

8. To read more books (outside of the Bible) about God's character

9. To tell my family "I love you" more

10. To enjoy EVERYTHING that God brings my way....to laugh and sing and dance and LOVE whatever comes. Good or bad.

Oh, and one more thing...I can't really call it a goal because I can't control it or achieve it. Maybe a desire? I'd really, really, reeaally like to meet the man God wants me to spend the rest of my life with. Something totally out of my hands, but the thing I want most of anything right now. And in the meantime, repeating Phil. 4:11 constantly - In whatever state, I am to be content. To be thankful. To enjoy the moment. 

Because the present becomes the past so quickly.