But said young ladies sometimes get tired of waiting. They look around at all the young men who are mostly either one of two options.
1. Foppish, wimpy, effeminate guys who don't know how to give a hearty handshake, get grossed out at the sight of blood, and overall excite no feelings of admiration in a Godly young lady looking for a real man.
or
2. Blustering, loud, look-at-me-I'm-so-tough, weight lifting dudes in their muscle tops who are really just insecure, but excite no feelings in a Godly young lady except for a sincere eye roll.
But I digress.
These young ladies observe either Mr. Effeminate or Mr. Bravado, and heave a sigh of despair, wondering where in the world is Prince Charming.
So how do you know if you are one of those young ladies that is affected by this ailment?
If you have ever.....
- Thought, "Wow, I'm old enough to get married now. So why isn't it happening?"
- Watched your friend(s) grow up, fall in love and get married and rejoiced with them. And then come home and gone to bed...laying there praying and wondering (and yes, even crying), asking God to do the same for you.
- Gone through phases when you think, "Okay...I'm good where I'm at. I'm content, I'm happy, and I am fine to wait for God's timing." And then those random days pop up when you think, "What is wrong with me? Why am I so discontent and wanting to be married?"
- Prayed that it is God's will that you be married one day, and then think, "I want to be married so bad that maybe God is going to make me wait a long time or *gulp* maybe stay single just to teach me to leave my life in His hands."
- Wondered where in the world is your knight in shining armor? (or, as in the case of my beau ideal, your knight in dusty leather)
What I thought I would do is this...(*note* this idea popped into my head the other night as I was falling asleep and thinking over these things, so there is no guarantee that this is going to make much sense. Beware of inarticulate ramblings)...I will just post and share some of the verses and concepts that have helped me. Many of these are not original to me, but have been shown me by other sisters.
But you have to do something for me in return *evil chuckle*
You have to comment and tell me if you have a verse or idea that encourages you in this area! (Guys, you can comment too if you have any encouragement for your sisters)
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~ "I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content..." (Phil. 4:11)
~ "Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You." (Ps. 73:25)
~ "Listen, O daughter, Consider and incline your ear; Forget your own people also, and your father’s house; So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him. The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace; Her clothing is woven with gold. She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors; The virgins, her companions who follow her, shall be brought to You. With gladness and rejoicing they shall be brought; They shall enter the King’s palace." (Ps. 45:10-15)
~ "For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. For the Lord has called you..." (Is. 54:5-6)
~ "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)
~ "The unmarried woman
careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and
in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world,
how she may please her husband." (1 Cor. 7:34)
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~ If I, as an unmarried young girl, cannot be content in the family situation I am in right now (as a daughter and sister), what makes me think that I will be content in a different family situation (as a wife and mom)?
~ Just because we are trying to return to the Biblical beliefs about marriage being good, children being a blessing, staying at home being right, etc., doesn't mean we can idolize marriage as "the supreme state." We can't bewail our fate if God's will isn't for us to be married later or not married at all...it's His plan.
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Those are some of the things that have encouraged/helped me when I feel the symptoms of Prince-Charming-itis coming on.
Any other ideas or input??
Something I've been thinking about is that I'm not waiting.
ReplyDeleteI am not waiting for Prince Charming.
That sounds bad, doesn't it? ;) Here's my thought: What if dear old P.C. never shows up? And I've waited for him my entire life? I don't want to get to the end of my life and look back on years of expectation and sigh heavily and say "ah well, guess I waited in vain." Often times the phrase "waiting for Prince Charming" refers to refraining from extramarital romantic relationships. In that case every individual on this earth should be "waiting." But there is also the sense in which "waiting" means living at home, going through daily life, thinking that you're killing - excuse me - biding time until that showy white steed arrives to carry you to "happily ever after" (because, after all, what good cowgirl, in her right mind, would marry any man who didn't have a horse!?). Marriage cannot be our ultimate goal. THIS is my life now. And for all I know, THIS may be my life forever.
You know how when you're reading a book with a gripping, page turning plot, some of the details seem to get in the way. Something is about to happen, but the author INSISTS on stringing you along for a few pages (or chapters), so you read fast as you can to get to "the good stuff". I think that's often how we view "singleness." Filler material that God is making us endure [to learn to trust, be patient, or make better bread] before He gives us "the good stuff."
But, oh how untrue that is! THIS is a good time! That filler material of time with family, time to study God's word, time to {put up with little siblings who drive you absolutely up a wall when they do this, that, or the other thing} watch your siblings grow. Many of us (not all) have little people in our lives: siblings who admire us or just plain love us. Think of how those relationships will change when you leave home. We shouldn't try to rush through these pages of seeing little ones take first steps, learn to read, or (horror of horrors) learn to play trombone (heaven forbid I ever let a child learn trombone *profound shudder*). Ok, so maybe you can rush through the trombone part :)
Anyhow, don't think of this time as filler material. Read the details, enjoy the little things, realizing this may be "all" you get. And it's a pretty good "all" if you ask me :)
Sorry about the long comment!
That's good. Really good.
DeleteI was actually thinking about something similar to that the other day. You know, I'm only going to be 18 once...and right now I'm very happy. I'm living at home with everything paid for by my parents :), and honestly have a lot of freedom to learn and grow. Good thoughts. I need to be thinking along the lines of "this may never happen so don't live in expectation of something uncertain."
Prince-Charming-itis! Good one, Lis!
ReplyDeleteYes, I definitely know how it is to wonder "Where are all the nice young men???" All of these effeminate young men and young "I know everything about everything" men are incredibly disappointing. Where are the humble, God-honoring, praying young men? Why haven't the young men of this generation prepared themselves to be "Prince Charmings" anyway!
But also, have we prepared ourselves to be gentle Maidens of honor? If we aren't content with the life we are already living, tending fussing children and ending quarrels, how can we expect to be the "perfect" Godly mothers and wives we imagine ourselves to end up being? The life we are living now, is preparing us for our more care-filled lives as wives and mothers. We should be, not only content with where the Lord has placed us now, but thankful for this time of training with our families.
Those are just my thoughts on the subject :)
Right, Sadie! We shouldn't just be praying for God to bring us a Prince Charming, we should be praying that He would help turn us into Princess Charming :D
DeletePrincess Charming... now THAT'S the really tough part. So true, though!
DeleteMaybe you'd be interested in this post my sister did back in January...it's rather along these lines :)
ReplyDeletehttp://sparksofreformation.wordpress.com//?s=prince
An idea: Pray for the unknown gent regularly. I'm afraid I don't do that enough, but its something. I certainly agree that it can be discouraging; particularly when you can count on one hand the avalible young men you actually know and know that NONE of them are candidates!
Cheers! :)
~~R
I will definitely check out that post, Racheal...thanks for sharing!!
DeletePraying for the guy is a wonderful idea....but sometimes (at least for me) it can lead to expecting God to bring said guy. And that may not happen.
The main thing that I pray for for my future husband is that God is keeping him pure right now. That is SO hard for guys in today's culture and I just pray that God is keeping his eyes on Him.
I heard a similar thing like this from the guys perspective by Voddie. I must admit, girls got it a lot harder than guys. I don't know if it is a statistic or something, but there are more Godly girls out there than guys. The poor girls are sitting back waiting, looking at dorky wimps or maucho gaucho, wondering what happened to all the "P.C.s". They have almost no "prospects", while the few Godly guys out there have a handful of names they could pick from. They don't have to wait either - as far as sitting back and waiting for someone to come to you goes. Guys just have to work their tailbone off, and they have a rough idea of when they should be ready to go courtin. Poor girls have no idea, and are just hanging loose.
ReplyDeleteJust goes to show we need more Godly guys to man up and be men. The guys are the ones supposed to be leading the pack, and by far, it is mostly the guys nowadays who are slacking off.
Contentment - that's a big thing - especially when you have no idea if things will ever change. If you aint content now, or not (fill in the blank), why do you think it will shizam and change when you get married?
Good stuff - Although I must admit I have never been accused of being "charming". I mostly get called a host of other adjectives - not charming.
Prince.... Err.. country boy... gruff? :D
Ha...funny...Jessie and I were just talking about that the other day. I mean seriously, guys get to choose! When they're ready, they just walk up and ask! Of course, they do have the hard part of asking :) But at least they don't have to play the waiting game.
DeleteI had to laugh at your last little comment...how 'bout "scruffy"?? LOL
Prince Scruff...
DeleteSounds like a Terrier ruling over some dog boarding facility.
No, if you're Prince anything it's Prince Jacque.
DeleteBut, I used the wrong adjective...it was "shaggy." (remember the conversation at worldviews the other day?) :D
Ah yes, Jacque....
DeleteWell, shaggy implies more foliage around the jowls than I tend to be wearing. Scruffy denotes a shorter and stiffer beard....
Wow, I never knew there was a science to facial hair!
*shaking head* you are too much. Only you :)
DeleteGreat post! Reading Joyfully at Home by Jasmine B. Was really encouraging. When we get married, life will not automatically get interesting.....we will continue doing many of the day-to-day chores we do around our houses now. If we cannot enjoy them now, what makes us think we will enjoy them in a marriage situation?? I have to admit that being content has been hard for me, but like Rachel said, "praying for the unknown gent" every night has really helped me realize that it is totally in God's hand and we can rest in Him. And, I can help my future husband with prayer, at the same time.....
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome thankyou, Lisa! I was having one of my very rare moments of P.C.itis at the time I was reading it, and it very much gave me a lift!
ReplyDeleteAgreed with y'all on the whole "not waiting" scheme of things. We are far from waiting, we are actively living. :D We're just... expecting someone to come along whilst we are actively living. ;)
Glad to have lifted you :)
DeleteLove that! We're living, and expecting a special someone all the while!!
Good encouraging post, Lisa!
ReplyDeleteI think something that encourages me is that, God knows what is best for me. If He sees that it would be best for me to get married someday then He will provide the right guy for me. God will bring Him along at the right time. Although it may be hard at the time to wait and wonder and wait some more, I know that at last when that day does come it will have been worth the wait. Not only that, but the guy I am waiting for will be glad that I waited for him.
Patience and contentment is so important in this season of life and yet I have very little of either one. ;)
God bless!
~Hannah~
"...the guy I am waiting for will be glad that I waited for him."
DeleteVery good, Hannah!! Thanks for reading!
If you wait for Prince Charming now and focus on him, once you get what you think is your Prince Charming another problem occurs. Since he will be a sinful human being just like you, he will rapidly becoming a little less charming. Since your original focus was wrong, your reactions to normal life in a house with a sinner will not be right either. You will tend to focus on what Prince Charming is supposed to be - you have him all built in your head you know! You and Jordanna have the right answer - you should be living for God now and then no matter what happens you will still be living for God since that is what you have been practicing. If you are used to living for the Lord with sinners and dealing with them, then what you practiced will help you in your marriage. I'm not sure that is well said, but I hope you understand.
ReplyDeleteYep...your husband is going to be just as sinful as yourself. It's not all going to be beautiful, happy days. Good point!
DeleteGreat thoughts!
ReplyDeleteThis verse has meant a lot to me:
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (ESV)
Oh YES!!! *headpalm* HOW could I forget that verse?!?!? I love that one, too. It has kind of been a theme verse for me for the past year and I don't know why I didn't put it on here.
DeleteIt certainly came true for you!!! How are you feeling?