Well, it's over!! It's done, finished, I can relax, get new music....life is good!
What an amazing experience last night was. I was absolutely overwhelmed by my wonderful family and friends who all came to support me, pray with me, and congratulate me. Many people came from out of town...some expected, others as a surprise! My sister, Anna, baked tons of amazing cookies and a stunning fruit bouquet that I WISH we had taken a picture of. Jessie worked the camera, Mom ran the dessert table, Dad was helping move the piano...it was humbling.
As you could most likely tell from my last post, the two days prior to the concert were absolutely nerve racking for me. I hardly ate, hardly slept, said stupid things that made my family laugh, and felt like I was in a daze. I woke up this morning and said, "Wow! I feel like Lisa again!!"
Yesterday afternoon was the worse. The clock was dragging, my headache was getting worse, and I was falling apart.
My dad, sisters, an awesome friend and I all went out to the church an hour before the concert was supposed to start. I kept thinking about that moment when I had to walk out on stage, and getting nauseous. But, my dad asked us all to pray, and so we did, and then said awesome friend pulled out his Bible and started reading Psalms. It really helped calm me down, focus, and get my thoughts in the right place.
By the time we got to the church, by God's grace, I was able to say, "Okay God. Even if I completely forget everything and have to just walk off of the stage, it's okay. In the grand scheme of things, this really isn't a big deal at all, and everyone (including You) will still love me even if I totally fail."
The church was beautiful. We moved the piano to the middle of the stage, got the lights right, and I started warming up.
After playing for a while, I figured, "Well, there's really nothing more I can do now, is there?!?" and went to see what the rest of my family was up to.
When I got to the back of the church, a wonderful brother-in-Christ walked in, and asked if he could pray with us before everything started going. We gathered in a circle, and, I have to say, Matt's prayer was such a blessing to me. He prayed the verse, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7). This verse stuck with me the rest of the night, and kept me on track.
More people started coming, and so my teacher and I went backstage. I think the worst part of the whole evening was when she left, and I was alone back there....waiting. Crazy thoughts kept bombarding me,
"What if I don't hear my teacher start the concert and I miss when I'm supposed to walk out?"
"What if I trip on these stupid heels and fall on my face?"
"What if there's no one out there in the audience when I walk out?"
"What if I forget the order I'm supposed to play my pieces in?"
"What if I forget the first note of this first piece?"
"What if....what if....what if....."
And then I just kept saying, "Be anxious for nothing..." "the peace of God with passeth all understanding...." and I'd calm down again.
Finally, I heard my teacher's voice starting the concert, and everything started rolling. From the moment I first walked on stage until the very end, it seemed like I was in a dream. Everything seemed to be happening for me, but in another way, all my senses were heightened to the utmost degree. It was strange!
It all went so smoothly, without any hitches, and was really an amazing, amazing evening. When all was said and done, I was bowing, and I looked at my mom in the front row, and she was crying. I wanted so badly to start crying, and I didn't even know why.
Afterwards, I felt like I was on a high. I was talking a million miles an hour, smiling until my face muscles hurt, and feeling very crazy.
I came home and promptly got an awful migraine, went to bed, slept for almost 11 hours straight, and woke up normal again!!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who was praying for me!! I am so grateful for you all, and for my wonderful friends and family who prayed with me at the recital.
It was very, very fun, but I am very, very glad it's over!
|My teacher and I. I owe so much to her!!|